Threats, Fear, and the Dark Side of Conversational Media

I'll start by admitting that I don't know the details of the death threats and other abuse apparently received by blogger Kathy Sierra. I've read about the incident, but I haven't verified anything or even looked into it closely. Therefore, the journalist in me prefers to refrain from commenting on that now widely publicized incident.

(BACKGROUND: Sierra's account, and more from Lisa Stone.)

That said, I'll be the first person to admit that there is a scary side to conversational media: mob mentality, threats to personal safety, and more. These problems are real, and they are scary for good reasons.

I don't know definitively whether women experience online threats and abuse more than men. I do know that women tend to take personal, sexual, violent threats more seriously -- and react to them differently -- than men generally do.

To put this in context, according to the US Bureau of Justice most victims of violent crime in the US are male -- that is, "for all types of violent crime except rape/sexual assault." When it comes to sexual violence, women are disproportionately victimized. Therefore, threats of sexual violence, such as those leveled at Sierra, bear a special significance to women. Perhaps for this reason, criticism of women often quickly descends toward sexual slurs and threats. People know it's a proven way to silence and marginalize women.

In my experience, people who threaten others -- whether online or elsewhere -- usually don't follow through with violent acts. Often, the threat is its own reward for them. They threaten mainly to instill fear (which is in itself significant damage and power), and also to show off to their peers. Lame, but true.

Here's what I recommend: Deprive people who deliver threats of their rewards. Here's how...

First of all, take away their visibility. Delete threatening comments if you have the power to do so, and don't worry about criticism you might receive for that. If it's your blog or forum, you can moderate comments as you see fit, and don't worry if anyone criticizes you for that. Kill those threads. It's up to you to set the tone for acceptable conduct in your own venue. If the comments appear on someone else's venue, ask the site operator to remove them. They may say no, but then again they may do it.

Also, don't respond to threats or trolling. They want to get a reaction. In fact, that's their prime motivation. Don't take the bait. I elaborated on that in my Contentious series on handling online vermin.

Track commenters' IP addresses. This can be spoofed, but it also can be useful. If you can track threats coming from an IP address, that's something you can turn over to law enforcement as needed.

Don't hesitate to call the cops. Seriously. Create a legal record of the threats you receive. Tell people you're doing this, and don't worry if people say you're "making a big deal out of nothing." Informing law enforcement not only discourages future threats to you, but sends a clear message to anyone who would threaten anyone, online or otherwise. The more people realize that they might end up talking to cops, the more likely they are to find other forms of amusement.

Don't let them shut you up. I understand Sierra has decided to stop blogging for a while. Everyone needs a break. But I hope she comes back, because often people issue threats in order to gain women's silence. I hope she doesn't let them win.

Comments

[Ethan]

"It's up to you to set the tone for acceptable conduct in your own venue. If the comments appear on someone else's venue, ask the site operator to remove them. They may say no, but then again they may do it."

Hear hear. Whenever my online pals complain of troll attacks, I always end up wondering why they don't post a formal comment policy and enforce it. It takes 2 seconds to delete an offending comment. As for me, I can handle criticism and/or disagreement, but the minute it turns personal, flush.

[Lisa Stone]

Great advice Amy. I agree with Ethan -- that pull-quote is a keeper. Thanks.