Blogging Gets Bumpy, and that's OK

Recently, PR blogger Kami Huyse published an interesting article: 5 Tips to Avoid Comment Hell: Dealing with Trolls. There, she posed a crucial question for new bloggers who are nervous about allowing comments on their blogs:

"I have had many clients ask me about the risks of blogging. How do you keep competitors and arch enemies from taking over the conversation and dissolving the 'conversation' into a shouting match?"

Her answers:

1. Moderate comments.
2. Have a written comment policy to manage expectations.
3. Be in it for the long haul.
4. Ban grossly abusive comments, but let most negative comments ride.
5. Turn comments off if necessary, preferably temporarily.

A few quibbles notwithstanding, I mostly agree with Kami's advice.

That said, I also believe it's important for everyone who chooses to participate in conversational media to learn how to handle the inevitable unpleasant bumps of conflict and even flames.That's not something you can learn theoretically. Personally I think you need to live through it. Only then can you put Kami's advice into balanced practice. Otherwise, you might be tempted to protect yourself into total vulnerability.

Of course, surviving public conversational conflicts is not fun -- but it's crucial. If there's one thing you learn fast in conversational media, it's that you can never really control the conversation. Most of it happens in venues that are beyond your control, anyway The best you can do is influence it.

I raised that issue in this comment to Kami's post...

I replied to Kami:

Great post, Kami. This is an issue to which I've given much thought, and have dealt with in various ways to see which works best for me, my community, and my critics.

Back in January 2005 I covered the topic of handling unpleasant public online interactions in my Contentious.com series: Handling Porcupines, Trolls, and Other Online Vermin.

In my experience, occasional unpleasantness is unavoidable in open public discourse -- and it's futile to try to prevent it from leaking onto your venue, or your reputation, entirely. Trying to create a sterilized bubble of perfect civility tends to ring false in conversational media. It always gets bumpy sometimes.

That said, I think it's important to gauge your own ability to handle occasional bumps (such as misunderstandings, accusations, snarkiness, etc.) gracefully. The catch is, you'll never know that if you don't handle some actual bumps in real public discourse. Give yourself permission to learn. If you try to protect yourself too much, you won't learn how to survive outside your bubble. And that will surely hurt you in the long run.

This is a hard thing for many people, especially corporate types, to accept about conversational media. Public discourse can be wonderful and rewarding, but it also can be difficult and people just aren't always nice out here. You need to know how to discern between criticism / disagreement and attack; and how handle or deflect actual attacks when they happen. In the real world you won't always be in a position to control conflict by deleting (or not approving) negative contributions to the discussion.

This is one reason why, when an individual or organization first considers blogging, I advise them to start by reading and commenting on other blogs or on public forums first. Learn first how to wade into the diverse cultures of conversational communities. Push your comfort zone in that way first, before planting your flag in the blogosphere and inviting discussion.

This makes a big difference, I've found -- not only in terms of new bloggers not overreacting to real or imagined put-downs, but also regarding the quality of their own writing. Once you grow a thicker skin, your blogging becomes less bland and more interesting.

If you do end up on the receiving end of a rampage, however (that does happen -- it just happened to me last week) personally I think it's better to close comments on individual posts that have attracted rude comments than to close comments on an entire blog.

That's just my perspective. Others disagree with me, and that's fine.

Best,

- Amy Gahran

Comments

[Kami Huyse]

Amy; Thanks for your clarification. You are right, it WILL get bumpy, but knowing how to deal with it is critical. That all-important thick skin.

I also tell my clients that unpleasantness will come and that the letting the conversation ride, within reason, will gain them credibility.

I like your idea of turning off comments for a particular post. In most cases out of control unpleasantness it often confined to one post; but not always. Sometimes banning an IP address is in order; but I don't do that unless absolutely necessary. I did it once, and only for the weekend since I knew I would be out of town. When I returned, I lifted the ban on this particular individual.

I have dealt first-hand with a troll, and more than one unpleasant exchange. But, I still think, on the whole, the blog succeeds in making my business accessible and three-dimensional - negative comments and all!

[Amy Gahran]

Thanks, Kami

I've had to ban a couple of persistent trolls from my blog too -- but it took a lot of attempts to bait me on various occasions for me to decide to do that.

You wrote: "letting the conversation ride, within reason, will gain [you] credibility."

That's very true, I've found as well. If you can restrain yourself from slinging mud, not much of what other's toss your way will stick with you. And thanks to the miracle of Google and the Internet Archive, unthinking flamers often come to regret their rash remarks, which never really go away.

- Amy Gahran